the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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