He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
