OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
