We won't sleep together?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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