Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize