This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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