Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
