Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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