On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
