Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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