I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
