U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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