Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
