So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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