i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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