I'm really into asian looking animals
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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