she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
