Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
