I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
