So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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