Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
