i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
