Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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