guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
