we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize