is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
