I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
