New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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