dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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