The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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