Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Michael Bay diarrhea
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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