32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
