I haven't been this sober since birth.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
