We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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