There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
