I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize