I am puke
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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