I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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