question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
