oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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