I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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