Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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