I think my vagina is haunted
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
