The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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