I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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