dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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