allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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