Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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