I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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