Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize