FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
