Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize