i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
