Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize