Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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