This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
