stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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